Confessions of a Baccalaureate Candidate

feeling

2009-02-05T17:46:00.004-05:00

songs. images. memories.
gateways to emotions.
storms have passed.
we are weary
of the absence
of warm weariness
where thirsting souls
take indulgent showers.

christmas thoughts

2008-01-02T22:23:00.001-05:00

on the fourth eve of Christmas

the night is cold for you inside that hill,
and above you the indigo with stars is filled.
expectant, looking down they gaze unblinking;
those bodies this moment relinquish their twinkling.
the king of the heavens and the earth
stoops to mankind, sacrificing his worth.
oh savior of this race what is on your mind?
your mother sees your face so innocent, untried.
all the wisdom of creation in so tiny a frame;
all the love of the Godhead lay resting in the hay.

resting. before you take your homeless journey
to accomplish the work impossible for me.
a journey that leads to places so lonely;
yet you find the infinite communion of the Trinity.
your face, it shows the weathering of trial;
yet inward your innocence remains unspotted.
now on the cross your eyes shout towards heaven;
the sky, ashamed, retreats behind the blanket of grey.
all the wisdom of creation in so dejected a state;
all the love of the Godhead made the object of hate.

Lessons from Reepicheep

2007-05-06T11:21:00.000-04:00

drink the light
look into the Sun
there's hope in the east
and joy in the Son.

Cause for a Celebration

2006-11-15T22:43:00.001-05:00

Wow, can you believe it's been almost a year?

Here's how we remembered the occasion.

I'm claiming Deuteronomy 14:26. (sans wine and "other alcoholic drink")

Me and Magglio

2006-10-18T12:14:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so my boy and I went out on Sunday after his big game, I don't know if you heard about it or not. Anyway, we went to the Apple store, he bought me an ipod. Then we got a bite to eat at the Calfornia Pizza Kitchen... whatever...

Traveling Eastward

2006-10-08T11:31:00.000-04:00

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow if I can,
Pursuing it with weary feet,
Until it joins some larger way,
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

Yes there is but one Road and I'm on it. I do not know what I will encounter along the way. But I'm certain that, since it is the only Road, it is the best Road.

Be still my soul, the Lord is on thy side.

Congratulations girls!

2006-09-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

I had no idea you were even playing.

Uhh... I really should read more...

2006-08-30T17:19:00.000-04:00

1. One book that changed your life:
Tired of Trying to Measure Up (Jeff VanVonderen)

2. One book you've read more than once:
The Jolly Postman (Janet and Allan Ahlberg)

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:
The Brothers Karamazov (Dostoevsky) Hard cover, (I'm talking really thick here) hollowed out to make room for my hypercolor silver The Message Remix (Eugene Peterson)

4. One book that made you laugh:
This Book Will Change Your Life

5. One book that made you cry:
Till We Have Faces (C.S. Lewis)

6. One book that you wish had been written:
Once Upon a Late Spring Evening (Tim French)

7. One book you wish had never been written:
The Rules (Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider) Don't get me wrong. Some of them are good. (my personal favorite being #6) But if every girl were to keep these, we'd kill ourselves.

8. One book you're currently reading:
Foundation (Asimov)

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
The Odyssey (Homer)

10. Now tag five people:

Aaron
Timf
Shortcake
Caroline
Amanda

For two bits (plus tax)

2006-08-15T17:38:00.000-04:00

I've always wanted one of these.

I think the kids on "Ghostwriter" used them.

You wanna know what's in it, don't ya?

Greatest Moment in Television History

2006-08-09T15:45:00.000-04:00

May 3, 2002

Louis Stevens: What's livin' if you never pull your pants down and slide on the ice, Ren!?

(Cut to Louis being interviewed)

I heard my uncle say it to my father once. I immediately fell in love with the phrase. It's great imagery, ya know? Ice. Shorts at your ankles.

Here's a shocker

2006-08-02T16:38:00.000-04:00

This explains why I never pass the personality test when applying for a job.

Sitting here

2006-07-27T19:45:00.000-04:00

Going Schwartzman on my life
Contemplating drowning my sorrows
in a sack of ten from White Castle
Leaving little to the imagination

Show me!

2006-07-20T17:17:00.000-04:00

For the past couple of weeks, I've been avoiding God. The silence which I had come to enjoy so much this summer had quickly become something that needed to filled up. Today, however, we had a bit of a breakthrough. The morning was all mine, or His rather, as the Holy Whispers penetrated through the blank sonic canvas. We got some things out in the open. Well, to be completely honest, He brought everything out into the open for me-- showed me exactly why I had created this rift. It wasn't a pretty picture, (and it sill isn't) but it was a start. There are some pretty big things I've been asking God to do for me. But He hasn't done any of them. And what's more, He doesn't even appear to be working on it. I feel like I've been put on hold for a more important child or something. This has led to me yelling, (oh the yelling) demanding things from God-- or at least a small sign that He can hear me. Nothing comes. In fact, I can almost hear the music playing on the other end of that celestial telephone. Today was different. Though there was yelling and demanding a-plenty, I know He was there. He showed me this passage:

Unless you see signs and wonders, you will not believe.

John 4:48

At first I said to myself, "Exactly, now show me!" But then I got a little more honest with myself and realized that even with a sign, I wouldn't believe. I'd probably just tell God, "It's about time." There's no faith in that response.

That's not to say that I have faith right now, because I don't. At least not much. But the silence has been broken. Though I'm sick of waiting, I have no choice. All that's left for me to do is seek Him. And wait. And believe. He is going to show me. I know it.

What an INTJ wants. What an INTJ needs.

2006-07-14T12:18:00.001-04:00

Order. No alarms and no surprises. Life sans question marks.

Today's craving

2006-07-08T11:00:00.000-04:00

Oslo

Call me Gideon

2006-07-07T19:05:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when living with reckless faith, you gotta lay a fleece or two. (usually two)

Redirected

2006-07-04T13:21:00.000-04:00

Last night, a sprained ankle brought me to a friend's house earlier than I expected, and consequently kept me there much longer than I expected. Now, lately my friend and I have found ourselves discussing the test. Last night was no different. We began talking about how our types manifest themselves in our walk with God. My dear friend wisely pointed out that I like things to be in order. This is no secret. I have a plan, I know how my day is supposed to go. And more often than not it goes that way. But inevitably there are those times when all my planning falls apart. In which case, as this friend so bluntly told me, I fall apart. This got me thinking about my current circumstances. God has told me to do some very bizarre, strange, and even hard things. So I immediately start believing that God is going to give all of those things to me. Which leads to me planning how all of this is going to come about--and it's a pretty good plan, I must admit. But right now I'm 0-3, and that frustrates me. I find myself telling God, "Ok, this is the only way this is all going to work out, so you've got to do it this way!" Doesn't happen.

When I got home late last night/early this morning I was miraculously led to an article by Andree Seu entitled "Simple Faith" which reminded me of a promise that I had read multiple times in the past few weeks:

"For I know what I have planed for you," says the LORD. "I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

The way God brought about that plan certainly was not the way His people wanted it happen. But it was safe, it was perfect, it was beautiful.

I must simply believe this for myself. God doesn't have to give me His promises the way I expect Him to. In fact, now I'm expecting Him to do it in the most unlikely of ways. I'm expecting the impossible. The "wonder and wildness" is back.

For the record

2006-06-29T18:58:00.000-04:00

The rice is NOT my blog. I will, however, admit to having thought of starting one for it.

An Aubade

2006-06-21T13:42:00.000-04:00

By Sam Beam:

"So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten..."

The sun did not rise this morning, but hope was still brought to me.

I heart existentialism

2006-06-13T20:07:00.000-04:00

Dinner and a movie included:
Kosher dill pickles, string cheese, tuna with walnuts and hot sauce in taco shells, chocolate milk, and nestle toll house morsels for dessert. Coincidentally (or not) I made some rice but left it in the microwave. We decided it was meant to be. I made the rice for nothing (or everything).

Not many wise...

2006-06-11T07:27:00.000-04:00

About six months ago I had this idea: What would happen if I started coming to the Bible as if I had never read it before? So I gave it a shot in search of the answer. I laid aside all my preconceived notions-- everything that I had ever heard or read concerning the interpretation of any given passage. Well, after half a year, here's one of the striking conclusions I've come to.

The Christian life is not about not sinning. It's about faith.

Oh but faith is so much harder than the former. It is the "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Faith takes courage. "Renew your mind," Paul says. But renew it on what? We renew it on the promises of God which are yet to be fulfilled.

This is now the standard by which I read my Bible. I pray for stronger faith rather than a more saintly looking life.

My latest sojournings have landed me in the book of Daniel. It's not hard to find faith in this man's life. But the most intriguing thing about this book is the result of that faith. Upon reading the first chapter, I couldn't help but notice that the concepts of "wisdom," "knowledge," or "understanding" are mentioned several times in those 21 verses. Daniel's wisdom, which seemed like foolishness to the Babylonians, was used to confound the wisdom of Babylon's sages and elders (Daniel being a teenager at the time). (side note: I love when the Old Testament so perfectly corresponds with the New Testament) Ok so faith resulted in wisdom for Daniel. But what did he put his faith in? It seemed pretty dark for him and his fellow Israelites-- they had just been taken into exile. Well here's the promise Daniel was holding fast to-- a letter, sent to all those in exile:

"For I know what I have planned for you," says the LORD. "I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope. When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers. When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you. If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you."

This is written to those in Babylon, not those who God allowed to stay in Jerusalem. In fact, God makes it very clear that those who were not taken into captivity were going to be destroyed by famine and war. Never did Daniel want to go home, I believe. Because he was convinced of the promises in that letter. That God would preserve him, and even make him prosper. And as a result, Daniel (a teenager) had more wisdom than the oldest, most experienced leaders in Babylon.

Epilogue

Daniel lived through the Babylonian reign and saw the end of Israel's 70 year exile. His faith was made sight. And that was only for a few of the promises. Think of those he sees now. And it's only the beginning.

Just plain creepy (and even a little endearing)

2006-06-08T17:27:00.000-04:00

"Yes, the moon and I have a long standing commitment."

---anonymous, June 7th, 2006---

(I misrepresented the source. Please forgive me.)

In Today's Mail...

2006-06-05T20:04:00.000-04:00

It's just way too cool, and brought me way too much joy for me not to share it with the world.

PAYDAY!

2006-06-02T19:12:00.000-04:00

...and I splurged.

From left to right:

1. Jack Johnson and Friends: Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the film Curious George
2. Get Behind Me Satan by The White Stripes
3. Redemption Songs by Jars of Clay
4. In Between Dreams by Jack Johnson
5. The Creek Drank the Cradle by Iron and Wine

(not pictured: Peter, Paul and Mommy by Peter, Paul & Mary)

What Grace Did for Me Today

2006-05-30T20:10:00.000-04:00

1. Got me through an 11 hour shift
2. Saved me from a heat stroke in the 90 degree weather
3. Allowed me to gamble with my Mexican coworkers

(and any "fundy" even thinking about making the obvious comment, (whether in jest or not) will be blogged about with righteous vigor.)

Word of the Day

2006-05-29T18:48:00.000-04:00

Fescue

Definition: any of a genus (Festuca) of tufted perennial grasses with panicled spikelets

Example sentence: The other day, I was hit in the chest with a golf ball whilst working amidst the fescue.

Crumbcake for This Morning

2006-05-28T08:44:00.000-04:00

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. O LORD Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you.

Psalm 84:11-12

I'm going to claim it.

Junior High, Dryads, and Other Digressions sigh

2006-05-22T17:17:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here eating my Lucky Charms realizing for the first time that I suffered a minor trauma as a child. In elementary school I would often stay with my grandma when my parents were out of time. Contrary to popular opinion, I usually enjoyed myself there even though there was nothing to do. I'd usually wind up getting out of bed early and eating breakfast with my grandma. She didn't have much--typically just Raisin Bran and Fiber One with some cut up bananas to top it off. It was good enough though. Except for when I started pouring the cereal. She didn't like it when I poured it with my spoon in the bowl. I really don't know why. All I know is that whenever I pour cereal with my spoon in the bowl I feel very uncomfortable. I guess I've developed some sort of complex. So Grams, if you're reading, thanks a lot. :-)

This is the dryad I met on Wednesday. He was starting to take a liking to me--that is until they cut him down in his prime. But his memory still lives on in this picture (Look at the way the leaves glisten as though under some sort of enchantment. Oh yeah, it's magic.)

Today I stumbled across a note just lying on the side of the road. Nothing special. Just written on a sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 college rule paper. Here's what I could make out: (for it had been there for a while and the rain and made most of it illegible)

"Hey, I kinda sorta like you to [sic]... (the rest had been washed away, save the last two lines)

PS write back soon
PSS what will your ---- think?"

The second to last word was washed away as well. I chose the word "mom" to fill in the blank. It made me laugh.

I really miss the days when I could get away with sending notes like this. Now you actually have to open yourself up to embarrassment and talk to the girl face to face. Oh how I long for simplicity again!

Chorus of Faith

2006-05-21T20:45:00.000-04:00

May our dependably steady and warmly personal God develop maturity in you so that you get along with each other as well as Jesus gets along with us all. Then we'll be a choir--not our voices only, but our very lives singing in harmony in a stunning anthem to the God and Father of our Master Jesus!

Romans 15:5-6

Tell it to others.

Forest Ranger (reprise)

2006-05-19T21:57:00.000-04:00

No, I haven't fulfilled my high school destiny just yet. But I am spending a lot of time by myself (9 to 10 hours a day) in the beautiful, green outdoors. God and I have been having some pretty good talks during those times. The best of these was on
Wednesday. The night before I didn't get to spend the time with HIM that I wanted--that I needed. Now you have to understand that I've been told all my life that if you forget to read your Bible it's going to ruin your day. So I was really upset with myself the next morning. I just assumed that I had fallen out of grace for the day. For about two or three hours I avoided God. I tried to block Him out with thoughts of my own--idle thoughts, they were. Then finally God broke through the noise. But the funny thing is, He didn't yell at me. He simply said, "It's ok, you can still walk with Me today." So I did. And it was good fellowship. I love grace. And I love how it abounds in my weakness. Makes me love Him more.

Fearful Symmetry

2006-05-14T14:59:00.000-04:00

And the LORD said to Moses, "I will do this thing also that you have spoken, for you have found favor in my sight, and I know you by name." And he said, "Show me your glory." And he said, "I will make all my goodness pass before your face, and I will proclaim the LORD by name before you; and I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious and I will show mercy to whom I will show mercy."

Exodus 33:17-19

God has been forcing me into some very uncomfortable situations over the past couple weeks. And I've been having a hard time believing that He's right here in this with me. So I find myself doing the same thing that Mo did in this passage. Saying to God, "Alright You say I'm special, now prove it to me. I've got some privileged position, now show me that You're right here with me." And He does, He shows me His goodness. He does it by closing one adventure the same way He started it. But that wasn't enough for me. So I asked for another sign. And in the most erie way He came through by starting this new journey the same way He started the last one. (and believe me, it's erie) I can't help but think of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea and then finishing off their trip by crossing the Jordan. There's no doubt in my mind that God loves symmetry. The prophets are full of it. I think it works well with humans. There's no way to escape it. I love how God appeals to our weaknesses like that. It makes me laugh. Now if only this dang Michigan sun would come out.

Republican National Convention

2006-05-13T13:00:00.000-04:00

We shelled out a lot of money to get into this thing which is ironic because we wound up voting Libertarian.

Place of Holy Mystery #2

2006-05-11T23:30:00.000-04:00

Oh God, where are you now?
Oh Lord save somehow.
The Devil is hard on my face again.
The world is a hundred to one again.

Oh God hold me now.
Oh God touch me now.
There's no other man
who could save the dead.
There's no other garden
To place our head.

-Sufjan Stevens

Ahh-mused

2006-05-07T23:12:00.000-04:00

I learned something the other day. As a Christian, I never get to relax my mind. On Friday I found myself sitting in front of my computer, playing spider solitaire, thinking about absolutely nothing. It was really a beautiful thing at the time. No impending deadlines, no required activities, no more packing, nothing. Ah but the old adage is apparently true because the devil started having a field day with my blank slate. He told me God was a liar. He showed me all the ways God went back on His promises in the recent past. And what's worse is I didn't even notice it until I was completely overcome with fear. Then that little Light surprised. HE told me to gird up the loins of my mind. HE told me to think on things that are honest. And they weren't just blank commands. They were comforting words, backed with promises, promises that He has always kept as long as I believe them (and even when I didn't). So God and I had a nice little talk. I straightened some things out with Him. Told Him what I was dreading. And you know what He told me? "Justin, you've been called out of that bondage of fear. Cry out to ME. I'm listening." And, when HE speaks, I listen--and obey.

And thus began my ascent from the underworld. Sorry it took so long, friends. But it was necessary.

Joy Spiting

2006-05-04T23:14:00.000-04:00

There are no words to describe the pain I experienced this afternoon.

There are no words...

2006-05-03T22:43:00.000-04:00

to describe what I experienced tonight.

The Brothers Karamazov

2006-05-01T15:02:00.000-04:00

Ok I'm gonna pull an Oprah Winfrey here and pretend like I just invented
a book that's been around for years...

Yes, so you all must read this book. Very philosophical. Very intense.
I've only read a quarter of it so far so I really can't speak too
knowledgeably on it yet. But I'm going to make this observation:
Smerdyakov is an INTJ thus making him my favorite character. Although I
have a feeling he's going to do something despicable and I'm going to
regret saying that...

Where I was tonight

2006-04-23T20:02:00.000-04:00

between a rock and a hard place...

Thoughts on a message...

2006-04-23T14:10:00.000-04:00

Theme: Regulations to last a lifetime

Ok is this what the Christian life is all about? Just following the
"Great Rule Book?" I find this very unappealing, and I know God
does as well (Isaiah 58). The nature of God is unchanging. The Bible is
written to show us who He is. If we know who He is and believe Him and
His promises it will produce a spirit within us that loves God and loves
others (the summation of God's commands). If there were no rules, no
commands written out for us in our Bibles, this would not change our
response to the love we have been shown by God. We would know what to do
(as the Old Testament saints such as Enoch, Noah, Abraham, and Job knew
what to do) without it being written down. God wants us to know HIM
through His Word. Not know a list of rules.

So why would anyone preach God's revealing of Himself as a rule book?
Why would we make up new rules to preach about? It's a burden; much
similar to the one that the Pharisees placed on Israel. Again, God wants
us to know Him personally. No more. No less. That and only that will
produce obedience, the kind of obedience our Gracious God desires.

Here's my take. Let's stop making Pharisees by preaching this
defection from the Gospel and start making God-lovers by preaching
Christ. No more. No less. (Col 1:28)

Regulations that last a lifetime? I say how about a God to know for an
eternity.

Euphoria!

2006-04-22T16:12:00.000-04:00

that's what i'm experiencing right now upon the discovery of, or rather
introduction to, the most amazing website ever. For all you music lovers
out there (and who isn't), you must check out www.pandora.com!

T9 poem of the day

2006-04-20T10:42:00.000-04:00

Glide like a flowing-lined molten stem, blunted by loyal glades.

-Eric Rea

high schoolers

2006-04-18T23:30:00.000-04:00

only two years removed, yet lightyears between.

A word to roommates out there:

2006-04-18T14:36:00.000-04:00

It is ok for there to be silence in the room every once in a while.

Resurrection Sunday

2006-04-16T07:05:00.000-04:00

Early in the morning on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdelene came to the tomb and saw that the stone was moved away from the entrance.

John 20:1

Yes I woke up that early in anticipation of it all. I think I'm going to make it a tradition.

Perplexity No More

2006-04-13T20:22:00.000-04:00

And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is
perfected in weakness " Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast
about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Now it makes sense. All I have to do is walk...

I really think Paul was an INTJ...

Futile Ambition

2006-04-11T20:24:00.000-04:00

Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of GOD
for the rest of my life.

Psalm 23:6

This is where I am forever! I can't escape it. God, let me stop trying!

My friend broke my G string last night

2006-04-07T20:00:00.000-04:00

It's true. I guess I'll have to buy a new one...

Perplexed

2006-04-05T22:10:00.000-04:00

There is one word that can describe me perfectly. Anyone close to me
would probably be able to guess it. However, chances are they aren't
going to say it to me personally. It's not necessarily a positive
thing, but it's true. I wonder if it will ever go away...

The Message

2006-04-04T15:18:00.000-04:00

It's been recovered. Apparently the "silvery, light-confetti throwing
cover" did catch someone's eye. Thanks friends!

A Well Timed Miracle

2006-04-03T22:31:00.000-04:00

A bit redundant, I know, but that's what God gave me this weekend.

Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity
of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never
figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart
enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor
that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything
happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always
praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.

Romans 11:33-36

My The Message

2006-04-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

It's been lost. Pray for it's recovery.

Abundant

2006-03-30T19:20:00.000-05:00

Today I got to sing about the most important thing ever in the history of the world. It really rocked, and I counted it as a privelage just to utter those words. It almost made a dear friend of mine cry just thinking about it. It made me dance. I think eventually she started dancing too.

Overwhelmed

2006-03-29T17:47:00.000-05:00

That's one word.

Selah

2006-03-26T16:38:00.000-05:00

Although he [Christ] was a son, he learned obedience through the things
he suffered.

Hebrews 5:8 (NET)

Safe?

2006-03-26T14:18:00.000-05:00

Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good.

-C.S. Lewis

Whatever doesn't kill you...

2006-03-25T19:12:00.000-05:00

only makes you stronger.

Well, my comic relief episode finally came to a close today. It only
took eleven days! The funny thing is, God opened it with a miracle, and
He closed it with a miracle. In the process of that whole episode He
answered a bigger prayer that I had prayed a while ago. Amazing. So
through one seemingly isolated and insignificant event God performed at
least three miracles. Yep, that's what they were, not whatever you
call those things that happen by "chance." Read my friend's post
on the echthros: http://thousandpounds.blogspot.com.

I am thinking it's a sign

2006-03-25T14:33:00.000-05:00

I am thinking it's a sign
that the freckles in our eyes are mirror images
and when we kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate
that God himself did make
us into corresponding shapes
like puzzle pieces from the clay

It's true, it may seem like a stretch
but its thoughts like this that catch
my troubled head when you're away
when I am missing you to death
when you are out there on the road
for several weeks of shows
and when you scan the radio
I hope this song will guide you home

they will see us waving from such great heights,
"come down now", they'll say
but everything looks perfect from far away,
"come down now", but we'll stay...

Ben Gibbard

Pray...

2006-03-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

because you want to be a part of the miracle.

Whited Sepulcher Theology

2006-03-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of what I like to call "virtue preaching" going
around these days. Virtue preaching is when a preacher gets up and tells
his audience to stop doing something, start doing something, or both.
It's always very basic; typically involves things like "stop
stealing," or "stop lusting," or "start praying more," or
"start going to church." As you can see, they're usually things
that nobody can disagree with. Occasionally you'll get the "girls
shouldn't wear pants" message or "mixed swimming is of the
devil" message, but for the sake of this argument we'll forget
those propositions. There is, however, a very subtle problem with this
popular method of preaching. I'll lay it out for you. Let's say
we're doing a message on making excuses. Immediately everyone is
thinking about Moses at the burning bush so we'll choose that as our
main text. Typically these messages are predictable as well. You're
audience will have the proposition and three points figured out by the
end of the introduction. This is a good thing. It means everyone will
get it. In our message, we'll read the text and give our proposition,
"Stop making excuses." We will then proceed with out first point,
followed by a story and continue that pattern through to the conclusion.
Then at the end we will again tell everyone to stop making excuses. You
have an invitation. Everyone raises their hand. Everyone comes forward.
You're feeling good about yourself. You just got a crowd of a few
thousand to stop making excuses. Congratulations. Guess what you just
created. A few thousand Pharisees. If you remember anything about your
Bible, Jesus wasn't particularly fond of these people. What went
wrong? Didn't we have good intentions? Didn't we preach the Word? Of
course we had good intentions, and of course we preached out of the
Bible. We just missed the point of it, that's all. What we should have
done however is tell people there's a reason Moses made his excuse.
It's because he didn't believe that God would keep His promise that
Israel would be delivered from Egypt. This is where we start with our
message. That's the point of the passage. This approach deals with the
heart. The other deals with externals. Paul David Tripp would call it
"fruit stapling." We don't want to have any part in this, for
ourselves or for others. Jesus dealt with the heart in His sermon on the
mount. In fact, His entire ministry was and still is keyed in on this
one thing. He wants to change lives from the inside out. Let's start
participating in this beautiful plan.

Consummation of an Epiphany

2006-03-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

For a while now I've been contemplating this idea of the "sin nature." What sparked my interest in this topic was a book I read a while back entitled "Tired of Trying to Measure." Life changing, let me tell you. Everyone needs to read that book. In it, the author puts forward the idea that we, as believers, do not have a sin nature. Now being a good fundamentalist this came at first as near heresy to me! So I decided to search it out. The first verse I went to was Galatians 2:20, "I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me." After reading that one and all of Romans, I pretty much had no choice but to agree that our sin nature has been nailed to the cross. But then I had to answer the obvious question that all my friends kept asking me that I didn't really have a good answer for. That question, of course, was, "Why do we still sin?" In a book entitled "Changed into His Image" the author tells us we sin because "we possess within us a clone of Satan's own nature" (pg 36). Now this doesn't seem to make sense biblically*or even logically for that matter. How can there be Satan and Christ living in us at the same time? Almost sounds a little bit like a good angel/bad angel situation huh? So what is the answer? Well fortunately Peter makes it very clear to us in his second letter. He tells us, "For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust." When I read that today I was so pumped. It's really neat how the term "sin nature" is never once spoken of about believers. However in this passage we are told that we partake in the divine nature! So why do we sin? According to the passage, I think it's because we don't believe God's promises. He has promised us that we are dead to sin. He has promised us that we will have victory in our lives. When we have faith in these promises we start seeing the things listed in verses 5-7 come to fruition. We cannot try harder at doing these things. It must all start with faith in God and His promises (Hebrews 11:6). Sin, however, comes when we doubt Him. That's why Peter says in verse 9 of chapter 1, "For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short-sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins." Think about that. That list just before verse 9 isn't a burden. It's freeing because all we have to do is have faith in God and those things will manifest themselves. As the chapter continues Peter keeps urging his audience to remember that one thing. And if you forget, then chapter 2 is the result*and it's not a pretty sight.

Mmmm but what a freeing thought*I can now confidently say that I am a new creation because of what Christ has done for me. This is a bold statement so I believe I must clarify something. I also realize that I am infinitely weak. It is so easy for me to follow after my own human desires. But Christ understands that weakness because He was human Himself and had the same desires that we have. However, He was infinitely stronger than us, and thus completely without sin. Have I said anything wrong here? This is what the Bible says, and I have no choice but to hang on for dear life to these promises. Peter states the consequences for not doing this. I'd rather not go down that path.

Boldness

2006-03-21T23:45:00.000-05:00

The day the LORD delivered the Amorites over to the Israelites, Joshua prayed to the LORD before Israel:
"O sun, stand still over Gibeon!
O moon, over the valley of Aijalon!"
The sun stood still and the moon stood motionless while the nation took vengeance on its enemies. The event is recorded in the Scroll of the Upright One. The sun stood motionless in the middle of the sky and did not set for about a full day. There has not been a day like it before or since. The LORD obeyed a man, for the LORD fought for Israel!

Joshua 10:12-14 (NET)

Ok so a friend of mine told me to read Joshua* wow* Seriously, that's what my soul is doing right now. What an intensely amazing book! About a month ago I realized something about prayer; we're supposed to do it the way God tells us to do it the Bible*novel idea, I know. But I never really understood what James meant when he told us to ask in faith without doubting. Or what the writer of Hebrews meant when he told us to come boldly before the throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace whenever we need help. I suppose I just always assumed that since God was so big that I should ask softly and politely and hope for the best. And if it doesn't work out? Oh well, better luck next time. But now I know just a little better. I remember that night literally yelling at God to keep the promises that He has made to me. Joshua did this on an infinitely greater scale. The LORD obeyed him because He had promised Joshua that Canaan would be his. In order for God to keep that promise, Joshua knew he needed more daylight. So he asked for it; it was the most impossible thing ever done in the history of world. I sat pondering what that would have been like. Imagine the fear that must have been placed in the hearts of their enemies when they saw that the sun had stopped for Joshua. It reminds me of The Return of the King when the orcs thought they had the victory and then their spirits just instantly sank the moment the Ring was consumed by the fire. Joshua's prayer was a bold command before the Lord*one that he had every right to make because his desires were in line with the Lord's desires (Psalm 37:4). This is how I want to pray now. But I'm still pretty sorry at it. I still have to battle with the doubts in my heart. But I must believe that God will do what I ask Him because, as long as I am truly delighting myself in the Lord, He will give it to me. And if He doesn't give it to me it's because I'm not delighting in the Lord in some area of my life. Also we must pray courageously. Pray for the impossible. Pray for the terrifying. God will answer us. He has promised us that He will. Stay tuned for the next Joshua musing. I can tell that there is some pretty good stuff coming up here.

Bitter Sweet

2006-03-18T23:39:00.000-05:00

Well it's official! I am now through with Mefistofele... And all I got
was this lousy t-shirt...

Degradation of Society and Culture

2006-03-15T22:24:00.000-05:00

bluegrass....

Comic Relief

2006-03-14T08:49:00.000-05:00

God has been whispering to me lately, and I could kinda hear it, but
it's been thin. That, of course, has all been my fault. I just
haven't sat down for more than two seconds to "be still" and
listen to it. Then yesterday He did. It was something so small;
something so unimportant. It really had nothing to do with the "big
picture" of my life. I'm once again drawn back to the "X-Files."
In that series there were episodes that really contributed to the major
running plot as a whole. Those were the exciting, intense ones. Then
there were those that didn't really have much to do with anything.
It's almost as if they were inserted just for the sake of comic
relief. Such is the case in my little episode yesterday. God wanted me
to laugh yesterday, and He did that by bringing me into a place of Holy
Mystery. On the outside I was jumping up and down, but on the inside I
was saying, "Whoa, yeah He's certainly right there along side of
me!" God's seemingly little doing there was meant to settle me down
and hear His ever present, gentle, voice. I don't think God's voice
is ever thin. Sometimes we make it that way by not being still; that's
all our doing, not God's. His whispering is just that, a whisper, not
a yell. It's gentle, but there's no mistake that it's there. It
makes its presence known. We just need to eliminate all distractions for
a moment and listen to it.

Comfort

2006-03-12T20:38:00.000-05:00

Sometimes He does. Sometimes He whispers. But He is always there.

So...

2006-03-10T15:39:00.000-05:00

I have a girlfriend now. Yep, that's right. Her name is Mefistofele.
I've been doing a lot with her lately. But I think she's just using me.
I have a feeling we're going to break up at the end of next week. It's
probably a good thing though. She's really wearing me out.

More faith musings...

2006-03-09T23:47:00.000-05:00

The entire lifetime of Enoch was three hundred and sixty-five years.
Enoch walked with God; and then he disappeared, because God took him
away.

Genesis 5:23-24

I've often pondered that familiar passage. As a child I used to think
that was a really neat story. The tales of men who never saw death were
always most intriguing-- probably because I heard them so frequently. I
guess, as a child, there's something mystical about those stories. It's
kind of like a real life occurrence of the "X-Files" (of which I was a
huge fan by the way). For me, the intrigue was in the two words: "he
disappeared." But nowadays, that's not enough for my INTJ mind. For a
couple months now I have from time to time revisited that same story in
my mind. Today it was brought to my attention by a greatly-needed,
well-timed chapel message. Whenever it comes to mind I always ask
myself, "What kind of faith does it take to do that?" Faith, sadly
enough, is often somewhat of an impossibility for me. Or maybe it's just
characteristic of all children of God-- we just don't often readily
admit it. So here I am, admitting that I have very little faith and at
times no faith at all. I think it's because I want my faith to be
mystical. I want it to be huge faith, that moves mountains, that uproots
trees. Not just this mustard seed faith Jesus kept talking about. How is
that going to accomplish the impossible? But then we look at Enoch's
life and see how simple it was for him and how simple it can and should
be for us. "Enoch walked with God" the verse says. There's nothing
mystical about that. In fact, it's so ridiculously practical. He didn't
all of a sudden hear a message, go down the aisle, and experience some
existential, Keswick life-altering decision that landed him directly on
cloud nine. No, he just had simple faith in his supreme God for the day
he was in. The verse doesn't say he ran to God, or one day was able to
meet God. He just walked with God. How often do I, after times of
victory and immense, seemingly unshakeable walking with God in an
instant just stop walking? It's times like those I feel like God is
playing the game where your older sister has a piece of candy, holds it
behind her back, and tells you to guess which one it's in. It's times
like those I feel like I chose God's "empty hand" and missed out on His
blessing, or even worse-- stepped outside of His will. I'll bet Elijah
felt the same way. He destroys all the prophets of Baal and this thought
enters into his mind: "Wow I've accomplished nothing. I'm the only one
left loyal to God." So he tells it to Him. And God responds to him in a
quiet, gentle whisper, "It's ok, I've got 7,000 more that love Me." I
think Elijah wanted something mystical, something huge like God gave him
on Mount Carmel. But God simply told him that 7,000 will get the job
done. I do the same thing. God does something amazing, something divine
in my life; He let's all the pieces of my life fall right into place.
Then other times, usually right after the victory, He whispers. I
don't know what makes God do and what makes Him whisper. Sometimes
it's much easier to figure out later on; sometimes it's not. But
this is just the way the Christian life is. We are going to have times
of weakness. Enoch probably did, and we know Elijah did. But, they both
had happy endings. And I'm confident we will too.

Place of Holy Mystery #1

2006-03-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

Read Luke 7. This is where God performs His miracles for me.

New "Fruits"

2006-03-02T23:58:00.000-05:00

Faith, love, hope, grace-- these are what the Christian life is all
about. Intangibles, very abstract things. But for some reason that's not
good enough for us. We want tangibles, something seen. So we make up our
own "fruits of the spirit." Notices the little "s"--it's not the Spirit.
It's another spirit. The spirit of self righteousness. But remember,
even though we are in Christ, any of our "righteousness" done in our own
strength are grease stained rags in the sight of God.

The fruits of the Spirit come from walking with God. The new "fruits"
of your spirit come from walking by yourself. Don't mistake the two.

Joy in the Journey

2006-03-01T17:14:00.000-05:00

God's grace has rocked this life. I've been doing a lot of reflecting
over the past few weeks--something I never did much of in earlier years.
But it's been so amazing to see the impossibly beautiful path God has
led me through up to this very point. Maybe this is "Till We Have Faces"
theology--maybe it's all experience. But I don't see a problem with
that. Each of us has his own story. That's the way God made us. He's not
just the God of the Bible--He's the God of today. And what's more, He
wants us to learn from today as well as the Bible. So looking back, I
see all the baggage I accumulated, all the times Satan thought he had
the victory in my life. I see it's all been a process, a beautiful
process (I'm on a beauty kick if you couldn't already tell. I hope it
lasts.) that has been painful, but also perfect. I tried to liken it to
this metaphor a while back: I was this deep-rooted, mud-covered,
thick-barked, stump that God effortlessly pulled from the ground and
said to it, "I'm going to make something out of you for My pleasure."
The soothing part was the cleaning. It felt good. That lasted for about
a year. Then God started working on that bark. That was the painful
part. He's been peeling it off for the past 3 years. And now He's come
to this point--where He's ready to start widdling away. But I think
that's a terrible metaphor since I'm not in the least bit a poetic soul.
So I'm assuming that it just won't make sense to the rest of the world.
However, that's the best I can do right now. Right now I'm at the point
where it's hard for me not praise God for the impossible circumstances
that have taken place in my life. It's all been connected. Kind of
reminds me "Signs"--"Everything happens for a reason." It's something we
can't get away from as good Christians. But do we really believe it?
That, our lives are part of this web of interrelated events each
specifically planned out by God with his or her needs in mind. I am
convinced that everything does happen for a reason. Even the minutest of
events--such as me going to a Nickel Creek concert which led to Sara
Watkins staring at me which led to an unhealthy obsession for a stupid
band which led to me wasting $300 on a trip to see my friends in
Greenville which led to me coming to the end of myself on the 11 hour
drive home which led to a whole slew of other events. And the thing is,
the chain starts way before that and ends way beyond that and continues
to this day. That's part of the "wonder and wildness to life." Us seeing
our needs met in the most absurd of ways. It has most undoubtedly shed a
whole new light on my walk--past, present, and future. The promise of
God that the very hairs on my head are numbered is real for me. He is
working in my life, personally--and it's for my good, and He will keep
working until it reaches its perfect consummation. I cling to this
promise.

Wow

2006-02-06T21:54:00.000-05:00

It has been a long time, I know. But such is life. I've been frantically busy over the past month and am relishing this short respite from all my stresses. Hopefully my friends have not forgotten about me! God has been doing some amazing things in my life over the past few weeks. Things that just a couple months ago would have been so hard for me to go through but now, somehow they are easy. I do not say this to deny my humanity. I am human and I know and I love it. That is the way God made me us. However, I feel that God has been preparing me for this for about seven months now. I'm still in the midst of my "journey" at this point. Really I'm in sight of my starting point so there's not much to fear. But I know as my comfort zone gets further out of sight, it's going to get much more difficult. But praise God that there is a joy in the journey.... Pray for me, friends although I so often fail to pray for you all.

Beautiful Mornin'

2006-01-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

The sun is out for the first time all week! This makes me happy.

Forest Ranger

2005-12-29T15:00:00.000-05:00

My freshman year of highschool I took one of those ridiculous tests that's supposed to help you find a career. I believe this one was called the "PLAN" test. At the time I was rather eager to see my results. The day finally came (a month after taking the test) that the results came in. I was in for a major disappointment. My scores weren't so bad, it was just the surprise that the career wheel (I believe that's what it was called) had in store for me. It suggested I be a forest ranger. Now being a budding youth, this didn't sound all too appealing to me. Especially considering all my friends were given interesting careers like athletic coach or scientist (that was interesting to me at that point in my life). Now I think the reason I was given that career was because I fell asleep during the reading portion of the test. But right now sitting in God's creation for 8-10 hours a day all alone would suit me well. This is all part of my budding introversion. Which is why I'm surprised I'm working at the Palace. For about two hours straight each night I work there I'm attacked by literally thousands of angry people trying to find a parking spot. Yes, those two hours are torture. But the time before that and after that is simply divine! Very often I'm alone and am given the opportunity to just "be still." It's very cathartic. *winks at erin* In fact, I'd say it's necessary for us all. Think of all the times when we're in the car alone. What's the first thing we do? Turn on the radio. Why? Because we hate that silence. Because we know what that silence demands. So we fill it-- with noise. What is noise (for your speech teachers out there)? It's just distraction from the point of focus. In this case distraction away from God. In our culture it's so easy for us to lose our focus. Sometimes I literally feel like Peter on the waves-- especially lately. I want to get out of the boat, and I do. But then all of a sudden I see how scary it is out here. I do believe, but Lord help my unbelief! It is a vicious cycle because of our flesh-- because of my flesh. In these times I must sit down, shut up, and let God speak to me. So this is what I will do.

I'm listening to music right now. How pathetic am I?

Snafu!

2005-12-27T14:24:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago I got a voicemail from a friend from highschool. We were pretty close even after we graduated. Then out of nowhere we just stopped talking. So in this mesasge my friend (we'll call her Schmenisa) said that she'd been thinking about me and that she wanted to get together. We decided on Friday (the 23rd). I drove fourty five minutes in terrible traffic just to get there. And after all that I found out we could only talk for a half hour because she had to be somewhere. To be completely honest, the conversation was terrible. It was actually quite awkward and we never really discussed why we stopped talking in the first place. I really couldn't wait to get out of there. So when the time came for her to be on her way I was relieved. I jumped in my car, picked up my phone and called my other friend (we'll call her Schmenny). She picks up and the first thing I say to her is, "Wow that was the biggest waste of time ever." She responded with, "Ok why are you telling me this now?" At this point I was very confused and was struggling to find a good answer to her question. So I believe I said something along the lines of, "Because I figured I'd talk to you." She then said, "Ok well I'm gonna hang up now." And she did just that. I was completely baffled as to the reason for the abrupt end of the conversation. So I looked down at my phone. It was Schmenny I had called-- it was Schmenisa! How does one recover from this? One doesn't. One simply accepts it...

What I love about me...

2005-12-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

I consider myself a pretty artsy guy. I like to analyze things, think things through, critique things. I enjoy the arts-- I am, after all, a voice major. Probably my greatest earthly practical consuming passion is music. But there's something that lot's of people don't know about me. I have an impractical passion. One that doesn't really contribute anything to society. And that passion is for my beloved Detroit Pistons. Right now they are 20-3. For those of you who don't know anything about basketball, that's pretty stinkin' good-- just take my word for it on that one. After 23 games, only once have I missed an entire game. Usually I get to catch a majority of it. If not that then at least the last quarter. At any rate, I love this about me. I'm probably the only voice major with a passion this strong for a sports team. There is no point to this post so feel free to ignore it.

Hope

2005-12-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

Future, not past.

For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us. He shoulders responsibility and is called: Extraordinary, Strategist, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His dominion will be vast and he will bring immeasurable prosperity. He will rule on David's throne and over David's kingdom, establishing it and strengthening it by promoting justice and fairness, from this time forward and forevermore. The LORD's intense devotion to his people will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:6-7 (NET)

Exasperated

2005-12-17T09:09:00.001-05:00

Saturday is a day for one to be out in the snow with his friends--having snowball fights and drinking hot chocolate. Not for work...

Irresistible Grace

2005-12-14T17:07:00.000-05:00

So I was talking to my gay, recovering alcoholic coworker--something I've had lots of time to do over the past few months and have failed desperately to take advantage of. Today the talk didn't get as deep as it has in the past. He told me directly for the first time that he was gay. I think he was expecting me to be shocked because he knows who I am. "You know I'm gay, right?" He said to me. "I turned to him calmly and said, "Yep, you talk about it all the time." This was true. He does talk about it all the time. I think he thinks I'm very naive though. I didn't get too deeply into anything right then. I just let him know that it's wrong, but that doesn't mean that I think he's some sort of terrible person--at least anymore terrible than the rest of us. He just hasn't been touched by grace. Often though we do talk about his addictions. He's addicted to alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex, coffee among other things. He's working on the first two via AA and NA meetings. The third he tried quitting on Saturday. Yesterday he smoked three cigarettes in ten minutes. The fourth we don't really talk about all that much. And the last we don't really need to touch--that's a beautiful thing I tell him. Today I got thinking about his addictions. He's trying so hard to eliminate his desire for something. A thing all of us have tried to do at one point or another. But he's missed the point. And I think he's so close to understanding this. The key to overcoming an uncontrolled, unchecked desire is to replace it with something else--something worth desiring. Right now, God isn't worth desiring for him. He knows what he does is wrong. He's admitted it to me. He wants to change. But he doesn't want to do the one thing he knows will change him because he knows he'll have to give something up. Enter irresistible grace. This is the way I view the controversial subject: God looking so beautiful to us that we have no choice but to accept Him. Anyone in Christ knows how unfathomably beautiful He is, and we can't really comprehend being "out of Christ" when we realize that. Because of this, our desire for Him supersedes and eventually replaces our desire for anything else. We just don't throw out our old desires. We can't do that. We're flesh. Just like you can't stop thinking about something by saying you're not going to think about it anymore. Christ is to take the place. He is to become our "magnificent obsession" as the song says. So my coworker understands a few things. First, he's got some problems, and they are destroying his life. Second he can't get rid of these problems by any earthly means. Third, if he accepts the one thing he knows will ultimately give him victory, he has to give something up. So what is the bridge between counting the cost and actually making the step? Irresistible grace.